Four hectic weeks have passed of my life's toughest and roughest roller coaster ride..... currently on a plain... don't know till when...
The electric vehicle's quick ride came to an end in the building behind around 4-500 meters from where my baby was delivered..... as soon as we reached there the doctor rushed to the lift and asked the lift operator to put the lift in non-stop mode..... 'Not available' came the reply..... the lift had to stop at every floor and as soon as the door opens... we had to stop the people from coming inside.... Somehow we made it to the 4th floor PITU..... and a bed was ready with the incubator and O2.... thats when I had the first glimpse of my daughter.... reddd is the word that came to my mind.... somehow the first look of the just born....if I say I didn't like it, I would not be incorrect.... however, a part of me was lying there and trying hard to breathe... emotions came out in the form of tears.... told her 'dear fight hard and stay put'..... I would go get your Amma....Nurse attending the baby said.... 'we need someone here'.... I called up my Sis-In-Law to the PITU handed over the charge and left from there....
Then I realised, I had carried the foot/shoe cover (made of cloth used in CCU's in the hospital) all the way to this building..... Taking them off I came back to the OT... and continued my wait in there..... I just felt sooooo very good that I was alone there... My parents and in-laws or even brother, if around would have made me break into tears..... Solitude made me stronger....
Then came the moment I have been waiting for.... the doctor came out and asked 'who is with Mrs Sandhya Pramod'.... I stood up and he took me inside.... two promoted to parenthood few minutes ago were to meet... As soon as Sandhya saw me.... 'Sihi bandiddaalalwa... neenu helida haage' (In English : 'Sihi (Sweet) has come as you had wished').... Through her pregnancy I wanted a daughter... and most people who saw Sandhya during her pregnancy told she would deliver a son..... Even we had to decide on my Son's name towards the end of her pregnancy....
..............to be continued.....
August 31, 2009
July 28, 2009
The feeling and...... confusion...
On Friday.... post noon my pregnant wife was taken inside the operation theater for a C-Section..... The transition from the relaxed waiting to saying good luck was just a few seconds... I had never been in that situation before.... though had seen so many of our actors seeing off their better halves in the movies.... However, that didn't help me in my situation.... :(
Fifteen minutes later, a doctor came out giving me the news that the baby is born.... I wanted to ask 'How is my wife doing?'.... and 'Is that a boy or a girl?' came out from my mouth.... :( again caught completely off-guard being the first timer in that situation.....did not help at all...
five minutes later..... the two doctors came rushing out one holding a crumbled green coloured cloth... and both were in a huge hurry... one I recognised was the doctor who had broken the news to me earlier...... Rushingly he said 'Baby is quite small as expected, has some breathing difficulties as expected in a premature baby, Ambulance is waiting outside.... Let's Go! and shift he baby to Pediatric ITU....' all these commands were shot at me at once.... and I heard only bits of it and followed him rather sheepishly.....
Got the lift to a non-stop mode and zipped to the ground floor..... Ambulance driver is not to be seen.... huh..... Doctor asked me where have I parked my car..... I said far behind the hospital..... it was atleast one kilometer from where we were at that moment... He quickly looked around and saw an approaching electric commute..... used in this health city as out patients transport.... stopped it... hopped on.. and ordered...lets go at the fastest speed.... do a U turn...... the driver lady said... 'Sir that's wrong way can't do that'.... helplessly we had to go around the main building.... Suddenly I thought lets inform my parents and in-laws waiting in the reception.... we are passing by... if you want to catch a glimpse of the baby..... Foooolish me...... However, they could not make it to the entrance before we passed it...
On that ride... I again asked 'Have I got a daughter or a Son'..... as though that was the utmost important thing...... 'Daughter' told the doctor.... 'Thank God' I said to myself..... I wanted a daughter who is as sweet as my wifee...
..... like the comic strips say in right hand bottom corner.... to be continued...
Fifteen minutes later, a doctor came out giving me the news that the baby is born.... I wanted to ask 'How is my wife doing?'.... and 'Is that a boy or a girl?' came out from my mouth.... :( again caught completely off-guard being the first timer in that situation.....did not help at all...
five minutes later..... the two doctors came rushing out one holding a crumbled green coloured cloth... and both were in a huge hurry... one I recognised was the doctor who had broken the news to me earlier...... Rushingly he said 'Baby is quite small as expected, has some breathing difficulties as expected in a premature baby, Ambulance is waiting outside.... Let's Go! and shift he baby to Pediatric ITU....' all these commands were shot at me at once.... and I heard only bits of it and followed him rather sheepishly.....
Got the lift to a non-stop mode and zipped to the ground floor..... Ambulance driver is not to be seen.... huh..... Doctor asked me where have I parked my car..... I said far behind the hospital..... it was atleast one kilometer from where we were at that moment... He quickly looked around and saw an approaching electric commute..... used in this health city as out patients transport.... stopped it... hopped on.. and ordered...lets go at the fastest speed.... do a U turn...... the driver lady said... 'Sir that's wrong way can't do that'.... helplessly we had to go around the main building.... Suddenly I thought lets inform my parents and in-laws waiting in the reception.... we are passing by... if you want to catch a glimpse of the baby..... Foooolish me...... However, they could not make it to the entrance before we passed it...
On that ride... I again asked 'Have I got a daughter or a Son'..... as though that was the utmost important thing...... 'Daughter' told the doctor.... 'Thank God' I said to myself..... I wanted a daughter who is as sweet as my wifee...
..... like the comic strips say in right hand bottom corner.... to be continued...
May 18, 2009
......Learn to speak Local....
"Don't you know what Tur Dal is how old are you and how long have you been a shopkeeper?"... heard my friend.... A customer was screaming at the shopkeeper.... Seeing my friend he turned around and started speaking to her... "These guys can't even learn Hindi... 'Tur Dal' to be the least... Hindi, our national language...everyone should know......" blah....blah....blah........
My friend listened patiently and asked that gentleman "How long have you been living in Bangalore?"...."11 Years" he said...."You have been living here for 11 long years and haven't bothered to learn what is Tur Dal called in Kannada?"..... The gentleman walked off taking his Tur Dal... without uttering a word...
--------------
I was talking to this friend after a couple of years... and got reminded of this incident narrated by her....
I was in Tirupathi last week.... I was trying to converse in Telugu (with as little as I know of that language).... "Be a Roman in Rome".. they say.... Should attitude be a deterrent to learning a new language?.... My answer is a 100% 'NO'... This percentage creeps steeply when the new language is the Local language.... Doesn't it?
My friend listened patiently and asked that gentleman "How long have you been living in Bangalore?"...."11 Years" he said...."You have been living here for 11 long years and haven't bothered to learn what is Tur Dal called in Kannada?"..... The gentleman walked off taking his Tur Dal... without uttering a word...
--------------
I was talking to this friend after a couple of years... and got reminded of this incident narrated by her....
I was in Tirupathi last week.... I was trying to converse in Telugu (with as little as I know of that language).... "Be a Roman in Rome".. they say.... Should attitude be a deterrent to learning a new language?.... My answer is a 100% 'NO'... This percentage creeps steeply when the new language is the Local language.... Doesn't it?
February 18, 2009
Hunger : Taste :: Stomach : Tongue
My Grandfather and my Maanthu (Uncle, Elder to my father) used to take lunch boxes to the fields. These used to be packed for them by my Grandmother. Both my Grandfather and my Maanthu used to be really hungry by afternoon and then they would open their lunch boxes and start eating.
After a little while, Maanthu told my Grandfather 'Father, the food seems to be slightly spoilt, don't you think so?'.
My Grandfather looked up, saw at Maanthu's three fourths empty lunch box and said 'Son, Just because your tummy is almost full now, you are getting the taste of the food. When we started eating, you were too hungry to notice the food was spoilt. With just one forth food left don't complain just eat and finish it'
-------
I just remind myself of this little incident Maanthu told me whenever I have to eat some food I dislike or which does not taste edible. This helped me to develop a taste for every kind of food including the ones I used to dislike.
People who know me would instantly ask, Pramod you don't eat meat, with umpteen exclamations at the end of that sentence.... I am Eggitarian by practice.. In the event where I cannot get vegetarian food or Egg, I have eaten meat... and would do so in future too... :).... now don't start making plans to starve me and offer me meat.. !
Cheers
Pammi... :)
After a little while, Maanthu told my Grandfather 'Father, the food seems to be slightly spoilt, don't you think so?'.
My Grandfather looked up, saw at Maanthu's three fourths empty lunch box and said 'Son, Just because your tummy is almost full now, you are getting the taste of the food. When we started eating, you were too hungry to notice the food was spoilt. With just one forth food left don't complain just eat and finish it'
-------
I just remind myself of this little incident Maanthu told me whenever I have to eat some food I dislike or which does not taste edible. This helped me to develop a taste for every kind of food including the ones I used to dislike.
People who know me would instantly ask, Pramod you don't eat meat, with umpteen exclamations at the end of that sentence.... I am Eggitarian by practice.. In the event where I cannot get vegetarian food or Egg, I have eaten meat... and would do so in future too... :).... now don't start making plans to starve me and offer me meat.. !
Cheers
Pammi... :)
December 24, 2008
(Extracts) My Best friend's email.... :)
***********************
Do u remember the way I got to know u? U had sent me a letter. In
it u had typed just one line "What's a zzar?". I replied promptly
saying everything I knew abt it. Then even I never thought we
would last this long. How u got me address is still a mystery to
me!!!
U have been with me all along. More than I've been with u. I have
never been with u in the emotional sense. I felt u never needed
me... I thought that u were the happy-go-lucky sort of a person...
'cuz u were always soooo cheerful, sending me jokes and all. U did
show me how deep u were in thinking, that day when u advised me
about death. I have saved it and made a hardcopy too.
Don't u worry about what u are gonna do now.(I don't think u r
worried in the least! Still I said...). Life is too short, and
happiness is like a soap bubble. Goes away in a moment. I can
tell u will b happy with Sandhya for a long long time. And things
I tell come true. I prayed for u both the moment I got ur letter.
It will be alright. Ur mom and dad - they will be happy too, to
see a couple so happy and so in love. Love always brings what is
most required. Don't ever think that u r a disappointment to them.
Tell them that u have made me proud to have u as my friend. U r a
thoughtful and sensitive person. U will keep them happy... Put all
ur doubts to rest here.
I can remember a dream I got when I was 9 years old. The morn was
bright and the sun was shining brilliantly through the glass
windows.The windows were too high 4 me. But I could see the
shadows of tall grass. I was happy. I knew there was a beautiful
garden outside, I knew I would eventually grow up to be tall
enough 4 the window. So I was happy. Eventually, Pammi, happiness
will come in search of u and will not let u go! The quote u used
to send me with ur mails:"Don't fear shadows. It means light is
somewhere near." Its ture, isn't it?
I will always b with u, whatever u do. So will God. Let the smile
u type next time be a real one!! Hope I have achieved something
with this letter of mine.
*****************************
I am still in search of you.... my friend... :) (The smiley you identified me with)
Cheers
Pammi
Do u remember the way I got to know u? U had sent me a letter. In
it u had typed just one line "What's a zzar?". I replied promptly
saying everything I knew abt it. Then even I never thought we
would last this long. How u got me address is still a mystery to
me!!!
U have been with me all along. More than I've been with u. I have
never been with u in the emotional sense. I felt u never needed
me... I thought that u were the happy-go-lucky sort of a person...
'cuz u were always soooo cheerful, sending me jokes and all. U did
show me how deep u were in thinking, that day when u advised me
about death. I have saved it and made a hardcopy too.
Don't u worry about what u are gonna do now.(I don't think u r
worried in the least! Still I said...). Life is too short, and
happiness is like a soap bubble. Goes away in a moment. I can
tell u will b happy with Sandhya for a long long time. And things
I tell come true. I prayed for u both the moment I got ur letter.
It will be alright. Ur mom and dad - they will be happy too, to
see a couple so happy and so in love. Love always brings what is
most required. Don't ever think that u r a disappointment to them.
Tell them that u have made me proud to have u as my friend. U r a
thoughtful and sensitive person. U will keep them happy... Put all
ur doubts to rest here.
I can remember a dream I got when I was 9 years old. The morn was
bright and the sun was shining brilliantly through the glass
windows.The windows were too high 4 me. But I could see the
shadows of tall grass. I was happy. I knew there was a beautiful
garden outside, I knew I would eventually grow up to be tall
enough 4 the window. So I was happy. Eventually, Pammi, happiness
will come in search of u and will not let u go! The quote u used
to send me with ur mails:"Don't fear shadows. It means light is
somewhere near." Its ture, isn't it?
I will always b with u, whatever u do. So will God. Let the smile
u type next time be a real one!! Hope I have achieved something
with this letter of mine.
*****************************
I am still in search of you.... my friend... :) (The smiley you identified me with)
Cheers
Pammi
....and you learn
||A Sweet Poem I found in one of my old Hotmail signatures.....
Dunno who the Author/Poet was...ITS DEFINITELY NOT ME :) ||
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
Dunno who the Author/Poet was...ITS DEFINITELY NOT ME :) ||
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
December 11, 2008
When I re-learnt walking ...
Last summer In Norway, I tried walking with skis on.... to watch an expert ski made me feel its soo easy... That was my first stumbling block.... Suddenly I was struck to something below
my shoes (Not mine really... I had to wear shoes of someone else which would fit me... reminds me of 'Getting yourself into Someone elses shoe'... ).... That something was running 3 feet infront and 3 feet behind me too..... Imagine what was the first thing I was asked to try with my skis on..... WALK... !! they said... 'Try and walk with them... without falling... ;)'.... It was sooo very
difficult just to walk with the skis.... Next step is try sliding one foot after the other.... Thats when I fell for the first time... Falling down was pretty easy... The most difficult part of skiing was to get up after a nasty fall..... Suddenly you put your Thinking hat on and start working out ways you could get up.... It did remind me of my nieces first steps and falls... I don't remember mine.. :) To my surprise I was sweating inside three layers of clothing and in the temperature 4 degrees on other side of ZERO..... !! I managed to ski a little finally after couple of hours of falls and rises.... I don't equate that to 'I Learnt SKIING' though....
Then again... In Scotland.... I tried ICE SKATING.... I didn't know the area would be called a RINK until I got there.... Again the same 'funda'.. trying to walk on two blades below the ice
skate training shoes.... and ON ICE.... ;).... I couldn't make up my mind to leave the short boundary wall and try standing on my feet the first day..... The next day the trainer was around.. and I had the courage to try and walk... without holding on to anything..... and there it was... A trainer's first lesson got me moving on ICE with the skates on....Hurray!!!.... as soon as I said that.... I had a BIGGG.... 78 Kilo fall...to the ice beneath... There was this cute little 3 year old... around with the trainer... when trainer asked me 'Are you alright?'... I said 'If you don't fall you won't learn'... The kiddo instantaneously uttered 'I have fallen many times... don't worry you are doing alright!!'.... Those words of encouragement from the cute girl... is making me to go skating this weekend again... :)
Cheers!
Pramod
my shoes (Not mine really... I had to wear shoes of someone else which would fit me... reminds me of 'Getting yourself into Someone elses shoe'... ).... That something was running 3 feet infront and 3 feet behind me too..... Imagine what was the first thing I was asked to try with my skis on..... WALK... !! they said... 'Try and walk with them... without falling... ;)'.... It was sooo very
difficult just to walk with the skis.... Next step is try sliding one foot after the other.... Thats when I fell for the first time... Falling down was pretty easy... The most difficult part of skiing was to get up after a nasty fall..... Suddenly you put your Thinking hat on and start working out ways you could get up.... It did remind me of my nieces first steps and falls... I don't remember mine.. :) To my surprise I was sweating inside three layers of clothing and in the temperature 4 degrees on other side of ZERO..... !! I managed to ski a little finally after couple of hours of falls and rises.... I don't equate that to 'I Learnt SKIING' though....
Then again... In Scotland.... I tried ICE SKATING.... I didn't know the area would be called a RINK until I got there.... Again the same 'funda'.. trying to walk on two blades below the ice
skate training shoes.... and ON ICE.... ;).... I couldn't make up my mind to leave the short boundary wall and try standing on my feet the first day..... The next day the trainer was around.. and I had the courage to try and walk... without holding on to anything..... and there it was... A trainer's first lesson got me moving on ICE with the skates on....Hurray!!!.... as soon as I said that.... I had a BIGGG.... 78 Kilo fall...to the ice beneath... There was this cute little 3 year old... around with the trainer... when trainer asked me 'Are you alright?'... I said 'If you don't fall you won't learn'... The kiddo instantaneously uttered 'I have fallen many times... don't worry you are doing alright!!'.... Those words of encouragement from the cute girl... is making me to go skating this weekend again... :)
Cheers!
Pramod
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