***********************
Do u remember the way I got to know u? U had sent me a letter. In
it u had typed just one line "What's a zzar?". I replied promptly
saying everything I knew abt it. Then even I never thought we
would last this long. How u got me address is still a mystery to
me!!!
U have been with me all along. More than I've been with u. I have
never been with u in the emotional sense. I felt u never needed
me... I thought that u were the happy-go-lucky sort of a person...
'cuz u were always soooo cheerful, sending me jokes and all. U did
show me how deep u were in thinking, that day when u advised me
about death. I have saved it and made a hardcopy too.
Don't u worry about what u are gonna do now.(I don't think u r
worried in the least! Still I said...). Life is too short, and
happiness is like a soap bubble. Goes away in a moment. I can
tell u will b happy with Sandhya for a long long time. And things
I tell come true. I prayed for u both the moment I got ur letter.
It will be alright. Ur mom and dad - they will be happy too, to
see a couple so happy and so in love. Love always brings what is
most required. Don't ever think that u r a disappointment to them.
Tell them that u have made me proud to have u as my friend. U r a
thoughtful and sensitive person. U will keep them happy... Put all
ur doubts to rest here.
I can remember a dream I got when I was 9 years old. The morn was
bright and the sun was shining brilliantly through the glass
windows.The windows were too high 4 me. But I could see the
shadows of tall grass. I was happy. I knew there was a beautiful
garden outside, I knew I would eventually grow up to be tall
enough 4 the window. So I was happy. Eventually, Pammi, happiness
will come in search of u and will not let u go! The quote u used
to send me with ur mails:"Don't fear shadows. It means light is
somewhere near." Its ture, isn't it?
I will always b with u, whatever u do. So will God. Let the smile
u type next time be a real one!! Hope I have achieved something
with this letter of mine.
*****************************
I am still in search of you.... my friend... :) (The smiley you identified me with)
Cheers
Pammi
December 24, 2008
....and you learn
||A Sweet Poem I found in one of my old Hotmail signatures.....
Dunno who the Author/Poet was...ITS DEFINITELY NOT ME :) ||
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
Dunno who the Author/Poet was...ITS DEFINITELY NOT ME :) ||
After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
December 11, 2008
When I re-learnt walking ...
Last summer In Norway, I tried walking with skis on.... to watch an expert ski made me feel its soo easy... That was my first stumbling block.... Suddenly I was struck to something below
my shoes (Not mine really... I had to wear shoes of someone else which would fit me... reminds me of 'Getting yourself into Someone elses shoe'... ).... That something was running 3 feet infront and 3 feet behind me too..... Imagine what was the first thing I was asked to try with my skis on..... WALK... !! they said... 'Try and walk with them... without falling... ;)'.... It was sooo very
difficult just to walk with the skis.... Next step is try sliding one foot after the other.... Thats when I fell for the first time... Falling down was pretty easy... The most difficult part of skiing was to get up after a nasty fall..... Suddenly you put your Thinking hat on and start working out ways you could get up.... It did remind me of my nieces first steps and falls... I don't remember mine.. :) To my surprise I was sweating inside three layers of clothing and in the temperature 4 degrees on other side of ZERO..... !! I managed to ski a little finally after couple of hours of falls and rises.... I don't equate that to 'I Learnt SKIING' though....
Then again... In Scotland.... I tried ICE SKATING.... I didn't know the area would be called a RINK until I got there.... Again the same 'funda'.. trying to walk on two blades below the ice
skate training shoes.... and ON ICE.... ;).... I couldn't make up my mind to leave the short boundary wall and try standing on my feet the first day..... The next day the trainer was around.. and I had the courage to try and walk... without holding on to anything..... and there it was... A trainer's first lesson got me moving on ICE with the skates on....Hurray!!!.... as soon as I said that.... I had a BIGGG.... 78 Kilo fall...to the ice beneath... There was this cute little 3 year old... around with the trainer... when trainer asked me 'Are you alright?'... I said 'If you don't fall you won't learn'... The kiddo instantaneously uttered 'I have fallen many times... don't worry you are doing alright!!'.... Those words of encouragement from the cute girl... is making me to go skating this weekend again... :)
Cheers!
Pramod
my shoes (Not mine really... I had to wear shoes of someone else which would fit me... reminds me of 'Getting yourself into Someone elses shoe'... ).... That something was running 3 feet infront and 3 feet behind me too..... Imagine what was the first thing I was asked to try with my skis on..... WALK... !! they said... 'Try and walk with them... without falling... ;)'.... It was sooo very
difficult just to walk with the skis.... Next step is try sliding one foot after the other.... Thats when I fell for the first time... Falling down was pretty easy... The most difficult part of skiing was to get up after a nasty fall..... Suddenly you put your Thinking hat on and start working out ways you could get up.... It did remind me of my nieces first steps and falls... I don't remember mine.. :) To my surprise I was sweating inside three layers of clothing and in the temperature 4 degrees on other side of ZERO..... !! I managed to ski a little finally after couple of hours of falls and rises.... I don't equate that to 'I Learnt SKIING' though....
Then again... In Scotland.... I tried ICE SKATING.... I didn't know the area would be called a RINK until I got there.... Again the same 'funda'.. trying to walk on two blades below the ice
skate training shoes.... and ON ICE.... ;).... I couldn't make up my mind to leave the short boundary wall and try standing on my feet the first day..... The next day the trainer was around.. and I had the courage to try and walk... without holding on to anything..... and there it was... A trainer's first lesson got me moving on ICE with the skates on....Hurray!!!.... as soon as I said that.... I had a BIGGG.... 78 Kilo fall...to the ice beneath... There was this cute little 3 year old... around with the trainer... when trainer asked me 'Are you alright?'... I said 'If you don't fall you won't learn'... The kiddo instantaneously uttered 'I have fallen many times... don't worry you are doing alright!!'.... Those words of encouragement from the cute girl... is making me to go skating this weekend again... :)
Cheers!
Pramod
September 24, 2008
...........Sight......... Mind!!
'Assumptions and expectations are the cause of all problems' someone said and I believed...... I seldom do the AssUMe part.... However, Expectations.... How to control that....?
Throughout my life, I have met a lot of people many of whom are still in touch and some are not...... 'Some are not' people..... why are they not in touch.... have they forgotten that they had a friend/knew you.... or they don't care anymore.... The expectations start when those 'Some or Not's mean something to you...... kith and kin....... I do not forget those who had cared about me in some part of my life... and also remember them atleast once a year... Birthdays... a very good way of saying I care... Happy Birthday.... may you live for many more years....... By doing that am I getting into the vicious circle of expectations.... Birthdays is just one instance where I remember people and try to convey them in one way or the other that I remember them....... on their special day.....
The other means are updating everyone in a close circle about the good things that are happening with you..... as and when they happen.... like promotion, travel abroad, buying a car.....anything and some insignificant things like... 'I got an appreciation...'..... Close circle, the friends who have been with you for sometime.... those you love to be with.... those who get together every once in a while for no reason and have a goood time together..... The reason for the existance of that circle could be all of us were/are working together.... in some company/project/work/group...... Once you move out of there...... do you still keep in touch in the same way..... ? I am asking that to myself..... :) I try to... more often than not... I do..... keep in touch... Which again.. gets me into that vicious circle.... Expectations... I mean....
I observed.... this has become more dominant when I am away from them (like now).... I would want to be buzzed every now and then..... These little buzzes keep me away from the trauma of solitude..... Yes.... The bliss of Solitude after a while becomes... Trauma of solitude..... :(.... when these buzzes are limited to the outgoing ones..... and seldom you get incoming ones..... That... causes more pain than the Trauma of solitude......
Deep inside my brain... I try to tell myself... do not expect anything.... from anyone.... this message is ignored by the Heart... result..... THIS BLOG... :)
Excuse me for my scattered thoughts spread all over the page above.... I would try to regulate them as I blog more.....
Ciao!
Pammi :)
Throughout my life, I have met a lot of people many of whom are still in touch and some are not...... 'Some are not' people..... why are they not in touch.... have they forgotten that they had a friend/knew you.... or they don't care anymore.... The expectations start when those 'Some or Not's mean something to you...... kith and kin....... I do not forget those who had cared about me in some part of my life... and also remember them atleast once a year... Birthdays... a very good way of saying I care... Happy Birthday.... may you live for many more years....... By doing that am I getting into the vicious circle of expectations.... Birthdays is just one instance where I remember people and try to convey them in one way or the other that I remember them....... on their special day.....
The other means are updating everyone in a close circle about the good things that are happening with you..... as and when they happen.... like promotion, travel abroad, buying a car.....anything and some insignificant things like... 'I got an appreciation...'..... Close circle, the friends who have been with you for sometime.... those you love to be with.... those who get together every once in a while for no reason and have a goood time together..... The reason for the existance of that circle could be all of us were/are working together.... in some company/project/work/group...... Once you move out of there...... do you still keep in touch in the same way..... ? I am asking that to myself..... :) I try to... more often than not... I do..... keep in touch... Which again.. gets me into that vicious circle.... Expectations... I mean....
I observed.... this has become more dominant when I am away from them (like now).... I would want to be buzzed every now and then..... These little buzzes keep me away from the trauma of solitude..... Yes.... The bliss of Solitude after a while becomes... Trauma of solitude..... :(.... when these buzzes are limited to the outgoing ones..... and seldom you get incoming ones..... That... causes more pain than the Trauma of solitude......
Deep inside my brain... I try to tell myself... do not expect anything.... from anyone.... this message is ignored by the Heart... result..... THIS BLOG... :)
Excuse me for my scattered thoughts spread all over the page above.... I would try to regulate them as I blog more.....
Ciao!
Pammi :)
August 22, 2008
THREE in eight
We won another Bronze today.... I looked up previous performances of India in Olympics... This has been the first ever 3 medal haul for India, the previous best was in 1952 when we had won two medals.....
Looking back..... 12 years or so.... I was doing my bachelor's degree in Electronics.... that was a three year course... First year I managed to clear 3 of five subjects with just above the pass percentage.... I cleared both in supplementary exams... and in Second year I managed to clear all 5.... in one go.... A BIGG achievement.... huh.... no it was not.. I scored a dismal 42% marks.... Then came the Final year... I knew for sure if I do not cross 50% it would be impossible for me to get in to Masters in computer applications... and both my parents had already started making efforts to get me in to Master's.... I worked hard and managed to score 54% in third and final year... and was happy as hell..... reason.... I was the only one in my batch of friends (8 of them) who had scored more than 50%...... So proud I was at that moment... I went my Aanu (father in Konkani)... and told him that.... Slappppp came the answer.... 'You don't have to be proud. I know you are worth more marks than you have got!!!' (bottom line: he knew I had made efforts only at the end to score that)..... It was like a bucket of cold water thrown at my grinning face....
Should India, with second largest population in the world...... be proud with just 3 medals.... I would say 'NO'..... We have tremendous potential in us....to perform better than what we have done so far and better than most of the other countries..... Where's the problem.... that is stopping us from doing that.....?
I feel the basic reason is Me, I as any middle class boy wanted to get into a job and start earning and try and clear the loans my parents had taken so that I could complete my education..... Sports took the back seat.... it was only academics academics and more academics.... that would have got me a job..... Sports..... yeah even that could have.... yeah... even that could have.... only when you are pretty good and have represented your state atleast once..... I felt I did not have potential and also did not have the inclination to making it big in sports arena.......
When I am decided to talk about this... I am thinking what could we change to make 2012 a better Olympic year for India.....
1. Get corporates to directly involve in some sport... get them all the incentives like tax rebate for the amount they are spending towards that.... and stuff.... and assure them more goodies if their sport gets India one or more Gold medals in Olympics...
2. As parents, identify your child's potential and fully support them in the way they want to grow in atleast one sport.....
3. Get the multi millionaire and billionaire cricketers to motivate and get recognition to atleast one sport other than Cricket....
4...... Hmm now I am thinking... (I hope...) so would you..... Help me complete this list...
Cheers!
Pramod
Looking back..... 12 years or so.... I was doing my bachelor's degree in Electronics.... that was a three year course... First year I managed to clear 3 of five subjects with just above the pass percentage.... I cleared both in supplementary exams... and in Second year I managed to clear all 5.... in one go.... A BIGG achievement.... huh.... no it was not.. I scored a dismal 42% marks.... Then came the Final year... I knew for sure if I do not cross 50% it would be impossible for me to get in to Masters in computer applications... and both my parents had already started making efforts to get me in to Master's.... I worked hard and managed to score 54% in third and final year... and was happy as hell..... reason.... I was the only one in my batch of friends (8 of them) who had scored more than 50%...... So proud I was at that moment... I went my Aanu (father in Konkani)... and told him that.... Slappppp came the answer.... 'You don't have to be proud. I know you are worth more marks than you have got!!!' (bottom line: he knew I had made efforts only at the end to score that)..... It was like a bucket of cold water thrown at my grinning face....
Should India, with second largest population in the world...... be proud with just 3 medals.... I would say 'NO'..... We have tremendous potential in us....to perform better than what we have done so far and better than most of the other countries..... Where's the problem.... that is stopping us from doing that.....?
I feel the basic reason is Me, I as any middle class boy wanted to get into a job and start earning and try and clear the loans my parents had taken so that I could complete my education..... Sports took the back seat.... it was only academics academics and more academics.... that would have got me a job..... Sports..... yeah even that could have.... yeah... even that could have.... only when you are pretty good and have represented your state atleast once..... I felt I did not have potential and also did not have the inclination to making it big in sports arena.......
When I am decided to talk about this... I am thinking what could we change to make 2012 a better Olympic year for India.....
1. Get corporates to directly involve in some sport... get them all the incentives like tax rebate for the amount they are spending towards that.... and stuff.... and assure them more goodies if their sport gets India one or more Gold medals in Olympics...
2. As parents, identify your child's potential and fully support them in the way they want to grow in atleast one sport.....
3. Get the multi millionaire and billionaire cricketers to motivate and get recognition to atleast one sport other than Cricket....
4...... Hmm now I am thinking... (I hope...) so would you..... Help me complete this list...
Cheers!
Pramod
August 13, 2008
A quick one.. :)
Heard (online- not live :( ) this young girl Rithisha ... and she sings amazingly well.... and...... She is from Karnataka... my state...
Please vote for her.... :)
Vote for Rithisha :)
http://voiceofindia.indya.com/vote/vote.asp OR Text VOI 10 to 57827 (Sat 10pm-12am)
Catch you sooon.. with some other thoughts...
Ciao...
Pammi (my favourite nickname :))
Please vote for her.... :)
Vote for Rithisha :)
http://voiceofindia.indya.com/vote/vote.asp OR Text VOI 10 to 57827 (Sat 10pm-12am)
Catch you sooon.. with some other thoughts...
Ciao...
Pammi (my favourite nickname :))
August 01, 2008
I, Me and Myself
I have heard this title umpteen number of times.... never had thought how easy it is to relate to it when you move away from all the people whom you know well.... towards a destination which is unknown to you... and no one there knows you..... :) Confused.... even I am..... what am I writing........
I had written my last blog when I was in Norway it was just about a year ago.... Now I am back to it from Kirkcaldy, Scotland..... :).... I remember http://pramodhassan.blogspot.com/ only when I am away.... ??.... hmmm.....
A huge change has happened in my life... professionally... I quit an organisation I wanted to retire with..... :( :)..... I joined a company which was as alien to me as Kirkcaldy...... Compared to my previous organisation which can easily be compared to whale (in size only)... this ones a small fish..... Why did I decide to move.... ???
Only two things ..... let me rather count them before I say its two.... First.... ££££ coming my way.... Second.... getting away from a cocoon I was so very comfortable working in for more than 5 years.... That's a loooong time to be with a company, as per Indian Software Industry standards.... There are about 300 people who have spent more/same time than/as me in that company that has over 34000 employees.... Ah well there were only two reasons... !!
Kirkcaldy is a place which is north of Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland.... Compared to other cities around... this is a small town.... The first few words that came to my mind when I got down here... Dull, Old, Ancient, Obese...... As I had visited Norway... I was expecting this part of Europe also to be beautiful and vibrant.... It was not..... Most of the buildings and houses here are atleast 100 years old.... the people are not as healthy and good looking as Norwegians.... They were fit and extremely good looking... Scots are not as much........ There are tens of churches around and there are graveyards around each of them..... One good thing about this place... everyone speaks English... :) unlike in Norway where the first sentence of any of my conversation with the local people would be '... do you speak English..?'.... I am surprised at the number of accents I hear around here..... All of them speak English.... still.... I miss quite a few words....
One thing about my Onsite travel is.... I get to meet and live with atleast one colleague who does not know cooking..... In US there was one in Hartford...... two at Minneapolis.....Lillehammer, Norway again there was one... in Kirkcaldy, UK I was welcomed by one... :)..... The good thing for me is since I love cooking food and making way to people's hearts through their tummies... I enjoy every single second I spend in the kitchen..... :).... That would be my next profession.... I have to put up a Hotel sometime...... I hope I can make enough money to be able to do that... Sooooon....
Hmmmm.... That was a lot of stuff I have bored you with....
Catch you later..... Ciao....
I had written my last blog when I was in Norway it was just about a year ago.... Now I am back to it from Kirkcaldy, Scotland..... :).... I remember http://pramodhassan.blogspot.com/ only when I am away.... ??.... hmmm.....
A huge change has happened in my life... professionally... I quit an organisation I wanted to retire with..... :( :)..... I joined a company which was as alien to me as Kirkcaldy...... Compared to my previous organisation which can easily be compared to whale (in size only)... this ones a small fish..... Why did I decide to move.... ???
Only two things ..... let me rather count them before I say its two.... First.... ££££ coming my way.... Second.... getting away from a cocoon I was so very comfortable working in for more than 5 years.... That's a loooong time to be with a company, as per Indian Software Industry standards.... There are about 300 people who have spent more/same time than/as me in that company that has over 34000 employees.... Ah well there were only two reasons... !!
Kirkcaldy is a place which is north of Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland.... Compared to other cities around... this is a small town.... The first few words that came to my mind when I got down here... Dull, Old, Ancient, Obese...... As I had visited Norway... I was expecting this part of Europe also to be beautiful and vibrant.... It was not..... Most of the buildings and houses here are atleast 100 years old.... the people are not as healthy and good looking as Norwegians.... They were fit and extremely good looking... Scots are not as much........ There are tens of churches around and there are graveyards around each of them..... One good thing about this place... everyone speaks English... :) unlike in Norway where the first sentence of any of my conversation with the local people would be '... do you speak English..?'.... I am surprised at the number of accents I hear around here..... All of them speak English.... still.... I miss quite a few words....
One thing about my Onsite travel is.... I get to meet and live with atleast one colleague who does not know cooking..... In US there was one in Hartford...... two at Minneapolis.....Lillehammer, Norway again there was one... in Kirkcaldy, UK I was welcomed by one... :)..... The good thing for me is since I love cooking food and making way to people's hearts through their tummies... I enjoy every single second I spend in the kitchen..... :).... That would be my next profession.... I have to put up a Hotel sometime...... I hope I can make enough money to be able to do that... Sooooon....
Hmmmm.... That was a lot of stuff I have bored you with....
Catch you later..... Ciao....
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